It is currently March 28th, 2024, 9:36 am

All times are UTC-04:00




Post new topic  Reply to topic  [ 5 posts ] 
Author Message
 Post subject: Sweet home chicago.
PostPosted: March 18th, 2011, 1:01 pm 
Offline
Fresh Meat
Fresh Meat

Joined: March 12th, 2011, 6:45 pm
Posts: 9
Chicago, 20010, December 1st. Currently traveling south on top of an elevated train car. 8pm.

K’THUNK, K’THUNK

Who’s ever bright idea this was, needs to be drug out to the street and shot. Ted thought as he desperately held onto the Elevated train’s car. He looked down at the ground, the Ecto-1C* was cruising along, trying to keep up. The sirens were blaring, from the looks of things Thomas was leaning out the window, proton gun in hand. Looking ahead he saw the creature, beginning to rip open a train car, metal shards flying everywhere.

*Ecto 1-C basically means Ecto 1-Chicago.

K’THUNK, K’THUNK

“Man, he’s probably reallllllly pissed right now.” Bill said, he looked over at Thomas, who was leaning out the window, trying to get a beat on old nasty.

“You may be right, but that thing has killed at least 10 people in the passed, week, and we haven’t exactly been forthcoming with the busting.” Thomas said calmly.

K’THUNK, K’THUNK

“Still, Ted’s probably really pissed.”

K’THUNK, K’THUNK

I hope I catch this damn thing. If I don’t, this’ll be for nothing. Ted begain pushing himself up, into a standing postion, the train’s speed was pretty consistent at about 30 miles per hour, he was doing his best to stand, but knew it was damn near impossible, he setteled on his knees, drew the proton gun, and aimed.

K’THUNK, K’THUNK

Yellow and orange energy ripped into the creature’s back, causing it to look over at him. Windows shattered as the beast snarled at Ted, tendrils of spit dripping from it’s maw, it’s shoulders, rolled, popping and squishing noises happened, and giant leathery wings popped from it’s back. The talon’d feet dug into the car itself,

“Oh shit.” Thomas and Bill both said.

K’THUNK, K’THUNK

The creature began a dead run at Ted, clearing 3 feet at a time, he was two cars away. This would probably end badly. “THOMAS, THE OVER CHARGE BURST THING WORKS? RIGHT?!” Ted shouted into his radio, desperately trying to back away.

“Well in theory, but I’ve never actually tested it, the techs bas-”

“YES OR NO DAMN IT!” The angry shout came from the radio.

“Yes.” Thomas hoped.

K’THUNK, K’THUNK

Ted flipped a few switches on the gun, dialed it to setting 5, aimed, and prayed. A blast of red and yellow energy, about the size of a basketball, shot out from the gun’s business end. The creature took it in the chest, staggering him. It looked up again, snarling, the train car started to slow.

SCREEEEEEEEEEEEECCCCCCCCCCCCCH. The brakes to the cars stopped successfully, they were at one of the substations, a few dozen people waited to board, the Ecto-1C came to a halt underneath the train. Thomas and Bill already husteling to the stair well. Ted looked at his proton gun, smoke breathed easily out of the barrel, and most of the lights were off. He dialed the power setting down to 2. He aimed, and fired.

Click.

What the hell?!

Click.

YOU HAVE TO BE KIDDING ME!

Ted stared dumbfounded. The creature grinned, his wings stretched out, and leaped over to Ted. The left hand of the creature’s fingers sprouted claws, it slashed once, taking Ted’s left eye and a lot of his cheek. The second hand came down, carving a good chunk out of his chest. Blood dripped from the claws, the creature put it to his mouth and licked.

“HEY, ASSHOLE!” Bill’s voice shouted. The creature’s bird like head turned around, snarling. Proton energy slammed into it, taking it on the hand, a second beam came in, taking it around the neck.

Thomas flipped a switch, and his beam tightened, Bill did the same, they began pulling it to the waiting substation’s waiting area. Ted lay on the car, bleeding.

“Plan?”

“Yes, prepare the ghost trap I gave you earlier!” Thomas said.

“And if I left it in the car?” Bill asked nervously.

“Then I have no idea if we can trap a demon that’s corporeal.” Thomas replied calmly.

The demon began to struggle as the beams tightened around him, smoke started to rise up from his neck and arms. The ghostbusters, Bill and Thomas, continued pulling the creature off the train. Without warning, the train started moving again. The creature, tried to latch on, failing. It’s feet talons dug into the car, but couldn’t manage to stick. With a thud, and a sick “Shlack” noise, the creature hit the ground. The train car started pulling away, just enough so that the people on board were at a safe distance.

“Ok, Reverse the pull, add power to the stream and begin pushing!” Thomas said.

“HOW IN THE HELL DO I DO THAT?!” Bill asked, frantic. His eyes drifted to his friend on the car, blood was starting to roll down the car’s side.

“Switch to setting 4, then carefully, hit the surge.”

“You mean the thing that blew out his gun?!” Bill shouted.

“Yeah.. That.”

The busters dialed to 4, and began pushing, the creature’s talons drug across the cement, and hit the tracks.

“NOW WHAT?!”

“Well, hopefully the safety protocol hasn’t kicked in yet.” Thomas said, calmly.

They pushed the creature to the third rail, blue light arched over the creature, followed by a sizzling sound, followed by the smell of burnt flesh. The creature dropped to the ground, still smoking. Green blood? Black sludge? Oozed from the creature. Thomas looked over to Bill. “Grab the trap from the car.” Bill was already running, leaping over a bench, and then a safety rail.

Thomas peered over the edge at the creature on the ground. Quickly, he pulled a PKE meter and scanned the creature. It didn’t appear to be any of the normal classes of ghosts, somewhere between a class V and a class VI. Thomas’s eyebrows arched up. This thing might be something more then I expected. I’ll have to call the brass about this, ASAP.

Bill was at Thomas’s side soon, holding the trap. He looked at Thomas questioningly. “So what the fuck is that thing?”

“It reminds me of something I read about once. But besides that, no clue. Gather a sample, I need to go look on Tedd.” Bill jumped down, removed a pocket knife from his utility belt and carved off a piece of skin, placing it into a plastic bag. He aimed the trap at the creature, hit the pedal, the door’s opened, white light came from it, and the demon didn’t even budge.

“Uhh HEY TOM?” Bill shouted, staggering back, leaping onto of the sidewalk. “TOM?”

Thomas was at the rear car already, climbing up, he saw Tedd, laying on his stomach, arms out wide. Blood flowed easily from him. Thomas picked up the pace, and kneeled next to Tedd, feeling for a pulse. He looked over at Bill. A strong hand grabbed Thomas’s wrist.

“I quit.” Ted said. He closed his eye, his head rolled to the left, and his bleeding stopped.

The flood of police, sirens, the light of a spot light, shined down on Thomas, he looked up, masking his eyes with his hand, people could barely see the tears streaming down his face, as he still held onto his dead friend’s wrist.

2 days, later, GB HQ Chicago division.

Bill walked into the old converted firehouse, well not that old, but a semi-modern firehouse that the CFD didn’t need to use anymore. It was eerily quiet. He wore a black suit, with a ghostbuster No Ghost patch on his arm.

The secretary’s desk was empty, Tedd’s wife usually manned it. The offices behind the desk were empty, the business manager had taken a few days off. Ecto 1-C was parked in on the of the bays. It’s hood was up. Bill would have to work on it later no doubt. Unlike the other franchises, the Ecto 1-C wasn’t a former ambulance, hearse or anything spooky like that. It was Bill’s old F-150 Lightning. It was painted white, with a camper shell that matched. Several modifications had been made, a proton pack rack was built into the bed, a wifi device, a sometimes but not often used proton gun that was tied into the truck’s own power system.

The sound of shouting and complaining was coming from the second floor. He quickly walked up, peeking his head into the room with the most noise.

Thomas was currently being yelled at by a woman in her early 20’s. Ted’s wife. Jesus. How did this happen? Bill thought.

“YOU LET HIM DO THAT! YOU DIDN’T EVEN TRY TO STOP HIM!”

Thomas looked to the ground, not saying anything. He looked back up at her, tugging at his collar slightly. “Marcie, as much as I would like to debate this with you, I cannot. Ted is gone, Ted will not be coming back, Ted sacrificed his life so that the people on the train, the people at the substation, and perhaps Chicago would be safe. I cannot explain to you the importance that this man did for the city and the state.” Thomas coldly replied.

“You..you son of a bitch, you expect me to be ok with “He gave his life so that you may live?” What the hell is wrong with you?!” The slap that could be heard, was sharp and loud. Bill dodged back around the corner, as Marcie stormed out, tears rolling down her cheek.

Bill came in 5 minutes later. He sat down across from Thomas on the couch. Thomas went back to his desk, and pc and began typing. “So..”

“Yes?” Thomas asked. He was typing very diligently.

“So, we’re not going to talk about this are we?”

“What’s there to talk about Bill?”

“The fact that we lost Ted, and that whatever the hell it is, is literally locked up in a cage, that we think will hold. Any word back from GBC?”

“Actually, I’m about to enter a GB Ventrillo chat with Dr Stanz now, would you like to listen in?”

“You bet your ass I would.” Bill replied, grabbing a spare pair of wireless headphones.

Thomas put his own set on.

“Dr. Stanz are you there?”

“Yes Dr Wopple. How’re you two holding up?” Ray sounded stressed, sad and angry all at once.

“We’re doing quite well, better then can be expected. Ted was a valued member of the team, and good field officer.”

There was silience for a minute, followed by a sigh. “The sample you sent back came inconclusive. It’s a mix of something human and something else. We know it’s ghostly, we just don’t know the type. The Professor is thinking demonic. In which case, uh oh.”

Thomas nodded, looking over at Bill. “Thanks Dr. Stanz, I do have a question for you though.”

“Shoot Dr W.”

“When do we start looking for a third?” Thomas began looking through craig’s list while talking to Dr Stanz. With the recession on, people were looking for jobs all over the place. He may luck out.


Top
   
 Post subject: Re: Sweet home chicago.
PostPosted: March 18th, 2011, 1:02 pm 
Offline
Fresh Meat
Fresh Meat

Joined: March 12th, 2011, 6:45 pm
Posts: 9
“Whenever you feel comfortable seeking a new team member, do you have any canidates?”

“From our open recruitment drive 3 months ago? Hardly. We only had about 20 people show up, which was odd. I’ll call back the other 18 people back and see if any of them are still interested.”

Bill broke into the conversation at that point. “Dr. Stanz, GBI will cover Tedd’s expenses, right? We’re not going to let his family grieve and worry about all the funeral stuff, are we?”

Ray’s voice softened. “This is something we’ve had to deal with in the past, as Tedd was a full timer, and his benefits were in place, his wife and family won’t have to worry about anything, as far as expenses go.” He coughed once. “Venkmen has stated as much, several times. Are you two sure you don’t need any of us do-”

Thomas cut him off. “Dr. Stanz. As much as we appreciate the offer, I don’t think we do. Your 4 week training plan was a full success, I believe that Bill and I are perfectly capable of training any new recruits.”

Ray hesitated. “I suppose that’s too bad then. I was planning on coming to Chicago for a few days next week. I hope you can put up with me.” He laughed a bit.

Bill smiled. “Looking forward to it Dr. Stanz.”

Thomas frowned slightly. “We will see you then.”

Jacob Miley’s Apartment, 1:45pm.

The phone ringing was something that reminded Jacob of either a monster, his mother or the sound of a banshee. He usually figured it was a good mix of his mother and the banshee. He reached for his cell phone, hit the green button, and put it to his ear.

“Miley detective agency.” Jacob said, swinging his legs over to the floor, he sat at the edge ofhis bed, he looked over at his night stand, looking for his smokes. He grinned as he saw a pack, opened it, then threw them. Empty.

“Mister Miley this is Bill Cooper from Ghostbusters?”

Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit. “Sure, Mister Cooper, I remember you, we talked about the Cubs in the lobby of that hotel.” He opened the drawer to his night stand, smiled and removed a pack from the drawer. He opened it, empty. He tossed it with the other. “What can the Miley Detective agency do for the boys in..what is that? Aqua?”

“Blue.” Bill said. “Actually it’s what I can do for you. See, we’re sort of needing a new recruit an-” Oh jesus, that last guy died. That means I’m up. And if that guy made it, and he died. Jacob‘s brain screamed. “d, we’d like to ask if you’re still interested in joining up.” Bill finished.

“Well, I’d have to think about it, and discuss it with my parents. I read about your team mate Mister Cooper, and I’d really have to consider things.”

“Of course Mister Miley, but know this is a limited time offer.”

“Thanks I’ll keep that in mind Mister Cooper, you take it easy.” Jacob hung up the phone, looked at his nightstand again, spotted a half finished smoke, lit it and looked over at the clock. 2:00pm. Why the hell did it feel like 8 am?

Office of Write’s paranomal investigators. 2:30 pm.

Victor was currently seated near the window, looking out it, at the many people walking on by. Was a nice day to say the least, several times, he saw people stop, wave at him, hug one another and continue. He grinned slightly, he hated this.

He took the pieces of cotton out of his ear, sipped his coffee that was close to him, and let down the walls, so to speak.

OH GOD YOU CHEATING BASTARD!I have no desire to see Sharon today, she’s such a tramp. I’ll have to listen t- “OH hi Sharon, how are you?” How in the hell will I make rent? What was I thinking? Susan will be upset. Poor Ted, I hardly knew you. I hope you found peace in death. Man, who’s this guy, some psychic, right, and I’m a wookie.

The old rotary style phone started ringing, Victor, picked it up and began putting up “the walls” as he called it. “Write’s Paranormal investigations.”

“Hi Dr Write, this is Ben Cooper, with the Ghostbusters.” The other voice on the line said, remarkably, it sounded like one of the last stray thoughts he had heard.

“Hello.” Victor said, quietly. Waiting for this man to get to the point. “How can I help the ghostbusters today?”

“Well Doc, as we have it, we’re currently looking to fill two spots on the team roster, and well, your name came up. Do you mind if I confirm some of your credentials?”

“Yes, you may.” Victor said, desperately trying to keep his mental state secluded and mute.

“Dr of Parapsychology at Berkley, a degree in phsyics, and a bachelor in fine arts?” Ben asked. He sounded amused at the last part.

“Yes, that would be correct.” Victor said.
“Well, would you be interested in a job?” Ben asked, hopefully too.

“Yes, but only if you answer one thing for me.” Victor asked, a slight smile coming to his lips.

“Sure go ahead.”

“What’s the weather like on Kashyk?”


Top
   
 Post subject: Re: Sweet home chicago.
PostPosted: March 18th, 2011, 1:03 pm 
Offline
Fresh Meat
Fresh Meat

Joined: March 12th, 2011, 6:45 pm
Posts: 9
That's what I got so far. I'll work on it a bit later this weekend, or today. Friday is typically "Pvp friday."


Top
   
 Post subject: Re: Sweet home chicago.
PostPosted: March 19th, 2011, 9:02 am 
Offline
Administrator
Administrator
User avatar

Joined: July 26th, 2007, 5:15 pm
Posts: 3693
Location: Indianapolis
Zodiac: Taurus
Not a bad start. It's shockiing, and the death of a character right at the beginning takes it in a much darker direction than the average reader will be expecting from a Ghostbuster story. I'm not saying that's a bad thing, mind you.

There are a couple of little typos, nothing major. It might help if some of the "thought bubble" lines are italicized.

Still, on the whole, good start.

_________________
Image


Top
   
 Post subject: Re: Sweet home chicago.
PostPosted: March 19th, 2011, 12:35 pm 
Offline
Fresh Meat
Fresh Meat

Joined: March 12th, 2011, 6:45 pm
Posts: 9
YEah, I basically copy'd and pasted from a word doc. And then sighed as things weren't as they should. Then lazyness kicked in. I'll change it eventually. :)

Glad you enjoy it.

And I wanted to give the folks reading a chance to like Ted. And then realize "This is different." I have alot of editing to do, and a bunch of more writing. I'll tackle it some time this weekend.


Top
   
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic  Reply to topic  [ 5 posts ] 

All times are UTC-04:00


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 51 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
cron

EctoGreen © 2008, 2014 Fritz Baugh

Imageset from ClassyDark by ayasha : ASDesignz Themes : Black-Fusion.com © 2007
Powered by phpBB® Forum Software © phpBB Limited