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PostPosted: October 1st, 2011, 9:26 pm 
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EDIT: Making this first post a listing of the chapters of Darkness at Noon. In parenthesis I've included YouTube links to the songs that inspired the titles. They may or may not make sense to you, up to you to decide!

Chapter 1: Fistful of Silence (Glitch Mob)
Chapter 2: Storm Coming (Gnarls Barkley "There's a storm on the way and it's comin' no matter what I say.")
Chapter 3: You, Me, and the Bourgeoisie (The Submarines "It's laid out for us, who are we to break down?")
Chapter 4: Comprachicos (Pendulum "I could fight this but I may die.")
Chapter 5: Running Up That Hill (Placebo "You and me'll be running up that hill.")
Chapter 6: Winter in My Heart (VAST "I can't find all the pieces in my broken life.")
Chapter 7: Domination (Apocalyptica)
Chapter 8: Schism (Tool "The light that fueled our fire then has burned a hole between us so we cannot see to reach an end.")
Chapter 9: Still Night (Pretty Lights "And the night is so still.")
Chapter 10: Junktion (Beats Antique)

---

Hello! I'm new around these parts (as though that wasn't obvious).

I write fan fiction in my spare time, when I get the bug to do so, and my last fiction for another fandom didn't turn out too bad. I followed part of the movie then deviated where certain elements didn't make much sense and tried to blend in some of the novelization tweaks too.

The point I am trying to get at is this; is it a faux pas to take an episode of Extreme Ghostbusters and novelize it with some tweaking? It would essentially follow the same plot but some aspects would be changed such as adding a lot more introspection, delaying the arrival of Achira, and changing a few details about how Achira operates.

That said...Here's an unrelated fiction I wrote that I wasn't entirely happy with, so you can see me at my worst: Get What You Give.

In case you are curious, I title pretty much everything I write after songs.

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Last edited by APaleHorse on January 10th, 2012, 1:14 am, edited 11 times in total.

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PostPosted: October 2nd, 2011, 8:52 am 
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I don't think it would be such a bad idea to do that at all. Everyone has borrowed things here and there from all of the movies and cartoons. So I say go for it. It's always nice to read what others have written. So I can't wait. Keep it up!

:ej4ever:

:geek:

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Exley K. Spengler

Sometimes in my job I feel just like Janine, over worked and under paid!


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PostPosted: October 2nd, 2011, 9:26 am 
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Welcome to the Ectozone. :)

You wouldn't be the first person to novelize/tweak a pre-existing story. My friend Kingpin once did a couple of novelizations of the movies I don't think he ever posted, and added a few nods to both RGB and our fan continuity (ie the end of GB1 included some of the first flashback scenes of "Citizen Ghost"; GB2 included a bit where Venkman basically orders Egon to get on the ball and fix things with Janine before it's too late). Even better, he adapted a couple of episodes that were (in the opinion of many, including myself) robbed of their potential greatness by the ruinous insertion of the Junior Ghostbusters and wrote them out.

About the only warning I could think if is that posting it on, say, FFN might have problems. I think such things might be skirting around the edges of a Terms of Service violation.

I looked through the story, and I think you may be selling yourself short. The ending was a bit abrupt, but it used the backstory well (I certainly can't criticize you for citing memory loss as an explanation for the continuity disjoint between EGB and "Janine, You've Changed"--the other Ectozone writers and I had to resort to that ourselves). It's an interesting bit of coincidence that you brought this to us two days after the first issue of the new comic, which also features Janine apparently dating some other guy, though we haven't seen Egon's reaction to that one yet. But we suspect it's coming...in fact, the writer has pretty much guaranteed it...

Looking forward to seeing more.
:)

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PostPosted: October 2nd, 2011, 7:10 pm 
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Good to hear it isn't such a bad thing! I tend to write better when I have a plot to follow. I write mostly in GoogleDocs because it's easier for me to get feedback and do my editing that way.

>This< is the first little bit of Darkness at Noon, which thus far has only touched the tip of the iceberg on it. I think it would be unrealistic for Egon and Janine to let the kids go out on their own at all after just one day of class; they barely know them and they give them nuclear accelerators, even in a dire situation? Janine at least would sling a pack and go with if only to teach them the basics. So the timeline will be a little skewed. This chapter will be just before Achira arrives, anyway.

Thank you for the kind words, honestly the last part of that fic was the part I most wanted to write, haha! If I was in Janine's shoes I'd have socked him long ago.

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PostPosted: October 2nd, 2011, 9:13 pm 
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Hey, read the first part of The Darkness at Noon and its not bad. Can't wait to read more. Keep it up.


:)

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Exley K. Spengler

Sometimes in my job I feel just like Janine, over worked and under paid!


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PostPosted: October 2nd, 2011, 9:22 pm 
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Thank you. :)

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PostPosted: October 3rd, 2011, 6:21 pm 
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This tidbit actually makes me very happy. Calmed my overworked and frazzled nerves. Welcome to the boards by the way!

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Peter: "Huh. Guess we're not welcome."
Winston: "Not welcome, there's a first. We should all get nametags that say, 'Hello, I'm not welcome'. Or maybe Tshirts or mugs or something."
--Ghostbusters the video game


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PostPosted: October 3rd, 2011, 9:17 pm 
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Thank you, on both counts. :)

Edit: Because Exley asked, this is a work-in-progress for Chapter Two: Here.

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PostPosted: October 4th, 2011, 7:28 pm 
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Hey, thanks that was great. I needed that. Can't wait for more. Keep it up.

:)

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Exley K. Spengler

Sometimes in my job I feel just like Janine, over worked and under paid!


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PostPosted: October 8th, 2011, 5:37 pm 
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Hi, APaleHorse (nice username ;)), and a belated welcome to the forum.

I just read the first part of 'Darkness at Noon', and I thought it was rather brilliant. I love your glib, snappy style of writing, and it ties in with what we see in EGB beautifully, which for me doubles the appeal. I'll definitely be reading on.

I just glanced at the beginning of 'Get What You Give', and I'm sure I'll read the rest at some point. So far it looks to be well written, although I can see why you're happier with 'Darkness at Noon'. The characterisation is sharper and more polished, and you seem to have honed your style and structure of writing. You're really doing a fantastic job with this. Keep it up!

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PostPosted: October 8th, 2011, 6:54 pm 
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Hey, I think the music went well with both stories. Can't wait to read more.

:geek:

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Exley K. Spengler

Sometimes in my job I feel just like Janine, over worked and under paid!


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PostPosted: October 12th, 2011, 1:27 am 
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Thank you both, there shall be more in the next few days. <3

Chapter two is complete! And longer than expected.

Also: OH MY GOD THERE IS A SHOWING OF GHOSTBUSTERS NEAR ME
THIS WEEK I AM SO EXCITED YOU DO NOT EVEN KNOW AND MY PUNCTUATION BROKE IN THE PROCESS

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PostPosted: October 16th, 2011, 3:41 pm 
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Hey, chapter 2 was pretty good. So when the next chapter going to post. I've enjoyed reading them. Thanks



:geek:

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Exley K. Spengler

Sometimes in my job I feel just like Janine, over worked and under paid!


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PostPosted: November 7th, 2011, 12:03 am 
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Just to say, I AM still working on this, progress is just slow. So, here is a whole section I cut out of chapter 1 because it wasn't necessary and didn't forward the story any. Yep.

---

Egon dropped half his stack of papers and grumbled, stooping down with a groan to fish them out from under his desk.

Janine watched him flounder with fond amusement before recalling his knee. “Egon,” she said, sternly.

Thock. His head hitting the desk.

“Yes?” he sputtered, muffled. He was leaning more on his right knee, confirming the thought that the left was still bothering him. A fractured knee would do that, even years later. Walking to the subway in the winter must have been hell.

“Why don’t you let me do that - I’ll give you a ride home if you carry my books.” God, she felt like she was in high school again asking him to do that.

He gave her a slightly sour look, his pride affronted, but the ache spreading up his thigh must have given him something better to think about because he stood up with the help of his chair and went to collect her bag of books while she scrounged for the remaining papers.

She glanced at them as she stacked them. It looked like someone had tried to write Greek using numbers and random letters. She read the headings aloud. “Applied physics, quantum entanglement, molecular physics... So that’s what else you’ve been teaching.”

“I do have a doctorate in it,” he mumbled, placing her bag on the adjacent desk and running his hands over the sturdy straps on her NYC Public Library book bag.

She glanced up at the framed certificates on the wall behind his desk, confirming it was one of the several. “So you do, sorry, it’s easy to forget which you have and which you don’t.”

“Yes, well...” He sounded embarrassed. “Most of them are just certificates or Associates lev-” He seemed startled when she appeared at his elbow to set his briefcase and stack of homework beside it, frowning at her as he trailed off.

She sighed inwardly. Alone at last and Mr. Science had lost his tongue somewhere in a discussion about the dead when there was a living, breathing woman standing right there.

“Well, professor, shall we?” She raised an eyebrow, taking up his case and stack before he could say no.

He grimaced and followed her out, locking his office behind them. They traversed to her car - an aging pink VW Beetle - in awkward silence. He placed her bag in the backseat and climbed into the passenger side, clicking his seatbelt into place and folding his hands neatly in his lap.

He looked ridiculous, all elbows and knees in her small car. She stared at him for moment before he nervously met her gaze, brow creasing in concern.

“What gives?”

“Er...Beg your pardon?” He blinked, owlishly.

“You’re acting...weird,” she narrowed her eyes.

He didn’t answer, just grimaced again.

“Oh, forget it,” she sighed, putting the car into drive and cruising out of the parking lot at a speed most would consider reckless. They reached the firehouse thirty grueling minutes of complete silence later.

“Here we are,” Janine stated, staring ahead and gripping the steering wheel.

“Yes...so we are...” Egon continued to look uncomfortable.

“This is the part where you invite me up for coffee.”

---

That's the point at which I stopped writing, cut this out completely, and went back to my starting point, then finished it with two paragraphs. If its wanted I can post other stuff I cut as I write more.

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PostPosted: November 8th, 2011, 2:21 am 
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Chapter Three - You, Me, and the Bourgeoisie.

Sort of a bleh chapter, sorry.

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