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PostPosted: June 1st, 2020, 4:22 pm 
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Extreme Ghostbuster
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Here's a new fanfic I'm writing. Ghost Business will have to wait, but the part about Ray and Lilith from Ghost Business makes a return. So, I hope you enjoy, and I'm always open to new ideas.

August, 1983

Fort Detmerring, NY

Dr. Ray Stantz, a Ghostbuster, investigated the old haunted fort.
He was in the captain's bedroom. He checked his P.K.E. Meter, no
paranormal activity... yet.

Ray looked in the closet and found an old captain's uniform.

"Hmmm," he said to himself. "I wonder how I'd look in these things?"

Ray shrugged, put down his proton pack and tried on the captain's
uniform.

"It fits me!" he said.

He went to the mirror to see for himself. He does heroric poses
at his reflection.

Then, Ray started to yawn and sat down on the captain's bed. He rested
his head on the pillow and yawned again.

"A good five minutes wouldn't hurt..." he said as he drifted to sleep.

A uniform sleeve moved slightly. A sabre in its sheath began to tap
lightly against the open doorsash. A phosphorescent light streaked out
in between gaps in the clothing, casting patterns over the room.

Ray's P.K.E. Meter went off.

From inside the attire, a pink mist rose up and took on a human form.
It hovered above Ray and seems to look over Ray.

Ray, still asleep, rolled onto his back. The mist slithered through
the curtains of the bed post and slowly descended.

The ghost appears to be a beautiful young woman. She was face to face
with Ray.

Ray woke up to see the lovely ghost woman's face. He gasped and
blushed furiously.

"Uh... hi..." Ray said nervously.

"Hello, Raymond," said the ghost lady.

Ray gasped again!

"H-how did you know my name?! And who are you?"

"My name is Lilith. I was an officer's girlfriend back
when this fort was a stronghold. He's been gone for over
a century."

"You must be all alone," said Ray, sadly.

"Yes," said Lilith.

"Don't be sad, Lilith," said Ray. "You may be a ghost, but
it's not too late to make new friends."

Lilith smiled at Ray and she gave him a ghostly kiss on the cheek.
Ray was shocked. First he felt a little confused, then he became
twitterpatted. He was now in love with a lovely ghost lady.

========================================

May, 1989

Ray never forgotten about Lilith. A year after he and the Ghostbusters
fought Gozer, he started to visit Lilith once a week. To this day,
he's been visiting the lovely ghost at the old fort.

"You know," Ray said to Lilith one day. "It's strange."

"What is?" asked Lilith.

"It's strange that I'm in love with a ghost. A dead person. No offense."

"Well, my friends in the ghost world find it strange that I'm in love
with a mortal," said Lilith.

Ray smiled. "I guess we're even. Everyone thinks we're crazy being
in love with each other."

Then, Ray took out a box with flowers inside. He gave them to Lilith.

"Oh, Dr. Stantz," she said. "They're beautiful."

"Thank you," said Ray. "So, anyway, Ghostbusters is under pressure at
the moment, because we owe some money to damages in the city."

"Oh dear," said Lilith.

"Yeah," said Ray, blushing. "Our tools are very powerful."

Ray took a glimpse at his digital watch. "Oh, I have to go. I got
to open my new Occult Book Shop."

"Alright," said Lilith, kissing Ray.

"Until we meet again, Lilith," said Ray.

Lilith waved goodbye and vanished into the air.

===================================

Meanwhile, at the Firehouse HQ, Dr. Peter Venkman was doing some
paperwork. Pretty boring if you ask him.

"Hey, Janine," Venkman called out. "Any calls today?"

"Not yet, Dr. Venkman," replied Janine, the receptionist.

Venkman sighed sadly. "I'm bored. We haven't had a call in days.
I want to bust some ghosts."

He stretched his arms and gets up and heads up to the lab, where
Egon was working on upgrades.

"Hi, Egon," said Venkman.

"Oh, hi," said Egon. "Let me guess: bored again?"

"You know it," said Venkman. "I wish we had a call right now.
Just want to zap a spook into the Ghost Trap."

"Patience, Venkman," said Egon. "We'll get some calls pretty soon.
Hopefully."

"Hello??" a voice called out downstairs.

Venkman quickly slid down the pole to answer the voice. It was
a young boy.

"Hi, kid," said Venkman. "What can we do for you?"

"I'm Timothy," said the boy. "I have a business proposition for you
guys."

"Yes!" Venkman said in his mind.

"Step into my office," said Venkman. "We'll talk."

The Ghostbuster and little kid head to the back of the room. Venkman
sat down at his desk, while Timothy sat on the chair before him.

"So," said Venkman, smiling. "What's your problem?"

"Well," said Timothy. "I live in a very old house with my mom, dad,
two sisters and a brother. Just last week, paranormal activity started
to occur. Moaning and groaning, vibrations in the kitchen, you name it."

Venkman held up his hand. "Say no more, we're on it."

"Wow," said Timothy. "I didn't get into deeper details yet. You weren't
kidding on ready to believe me. Thanks."

"No problem. I'm Dr. Peter Venkman, by the way."

"Nice to meet you. Hey, what was battling Gozer like?"

"Oh, it was a thrill," said Venkman. "You should've been there."

"When I grow up, I want to join you guys," said Timothy.

"Hold on to that dream, Timmy," said Venkman. "We're always open
for new recruits."

In no time flat, everyone got ready to go to Timothy's place to bust
some ectoplasm.

"First, we better pick up Ray at his store," said Egon.

"Right," said Venkman. "Timothy, you're riding with us."

"Oh, boy!" said Timmy. "This'll be fun!"

Everyone stepped into the Ecto-1. The car pulled out to Ray's Occult
Book Shop.

======================================

"Yes, ma'am," said Ray, talking to a client on the phone at his
book shop. "We'll have your order of books over by Friday. Okay,
thanks for calling. Buh-bye."

Knock-knock!

"Oh, hey, guys!" said Ray as the GBs and Timothy enter the shop.

"We got a call, Ray," said Venkman. "Better close up shop for the day
and get ready."

"Say no more," said Ray. "Let's go."

"Tim, this is Dr. Ray Stantz," said Venkman. "The heart of the Ghostbusters."

"Hi," said Timothy. "You're looking at a future Buster."

"Oh?" said Ray with a smile. "You wanna work with us?"

"You betcha," said Timothy.

"Well," said Ray. "Maybe you can start soon. That is, if it's okay
with your parents."

"Ask them when we get to my house," said Timothy. "What are we waiting
for? Let's bust ghosts!"

The group exited the shop and headed on over to Timothy's house.
One of Timothy's siblings, Martin, came out of the house to say
"hi" to the GBs.

"Good timing," said Martin. "Things are getting strange as we speak."

Egon's P.K.E. Meter started to go off.

"Already, I'm detecting something," said Egon.

"Come on in," said Timothy. "And hurry."

They all went inside and into the kitchen, where Timothy's sisters,
Teresa and Cynthia were standing at the table.

"Ghostbusters, yay!" said Cynthia. "Are you here to solve the mystery?"

"Yep," said Venkman. "Don't worry, we're pros at this."

"Good," said Martin. "Any second now, the vibrating in here will start.
Three... two... one... Now!"

Just that second, the vibrating began.

"WOAH!" reacted everyone.

"You sure weren't kidding," said Egon.

"I'll say," said Winston.

Egon carefully checked the P.K.E. Meter again. Readings were high.

"It's coming from over here," said Egon.

The group went over to the fridge and opened it. Food started shooting
out!

"TAKE COVER!!!" yelled Timothy.

"What's going on?!" shouted Timothy's mom, running into the room.
"Oh my god! What a mess!"

"We didn't do it," said Timothy. "The fridge threw up on us. Litteraly."

"What's wrong?" asked Timothy's dad, coming into the kitchen. "Woah!! What
the heck happened??"

"It's probably the paranormal activity again, Jonathan," said Timothy's
mom.

"Uh, in case you haven't noticed," said Timothy. "I brought the Ghostbusters
here. So, you're welcome."

"Thanks, Timothy," said Jonathan. "Okay, let's clean this up."

"No time!" said Teresa. "We have to find the ghosts!"

"This'll only take half-an-hour," said mom. "And it's only noon."

The kids groaned.

"We'll help, too," said Ray. "This was sorta our fault."

"Thanks, Ghostbusters," said mom.

Everyone began to clean up the kitchen.

TO BE CONTINUED...

Can anyone guess where I got the names for the kids and dad from? Reply if you know.

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PostPosted: June 2nd, 2020, 2:12 pm 
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Quote:
"It's strange that I'm in love with a ghost. A dead person. No offense."


Lol...the Fort Detmerring thing did kind of set a trend for him, didn't it?

His IDW girlfriend died, but stuck around as a ghost for a while.

Ray also fell in love with a ghost in an outproduced RGB script ("Midnight on the Lady M")by JMS (I reference it in Enlightenment, Part 3. You know, part of the story cycle where I had him marry a living woman, but she was a wizard.

I guess that's why poor Elaine Fuhrman didn't catch on better than she did. She as too "normal" :lol:

It's a smoother start than last time. Breaking the Ray/Lilith stuff into a separate story from "Ghost Business" is probably a good idea, what with all the other relationship drama going on there.

Quote:
"The fridge threw up on us."

:venkman: --I hate it when that happens.

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PostPosted: June 2nd, 2020, 2:35 pm 
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Fritz wrote:
Lol...the Fort Detmerring thing did kind of set a trend for him, didn't it?


Well, I thought Fort Detmerring needed more attention. Besides, it looked like a direct hit cupid for Ray.

Fritz wrote:
Ray also fell in love with a ghost in an outproduced RGB script ("Midnight on the Lady M")by JMS


JMS. I feel I should know that name...

Fritz wrote:
It's a smoother start than last time. Breaking the Ray/Lilith stuff into a separate story from "Ghost Business" is probably a good idea, what with all the other relationship drama going on there.


I thought it was a good call too. Thanks, Fritz.

BTW, did you guess where I got the kids names from?

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PostPosted: June 2nd, 2020, 5:39 pm 
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catnoir1998 wrote:
JMS. I feel I should know that name...


J.Micheal Straczynski, RGB's first story editor and writer of most of the best episodes of the series.

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PostPosted: June 2nd, 2020, 5:40 pm 
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Nice. Anyway, I'm glad you like the Fort Detmerring thing.

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PostPosted: June 2nd, 2020, 11:07 pm 
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Next chapter is here. BTW, if you haven't guessed yet, the names of the children and dad came from the cartoon movie "The Secret of NIMH", another great '80s flick.

"There," said Timothy's dad. "That only took no more than 15 minutes."

"Wasn't such a chore, was it?" said Ray, chuckling to himself.

"Pretty much," said Martin. "We do chores 24/7. No time for Nintendo."

"Responsibility comes first, kid," said Venkman.

BEEP! BEEP!! The P.K.E. Meter went off again.

"I got another reading!" said Egon, looking at the meter. "Follow me."

"And keep quiet," added Timothy.

"My words exactly," said Egon to Timothy.

Quiet as mice, the GBs and Timothy's family go into the hall and up the stairs and into the attic.

"It's in the attic," whispered Egon.

"Why am I not surprised?" whispered Timothy. "That attic always scares me."

"C'mon," said Egon, quietly. "Up the ladder, one at a time. And remember, silence."

Everyone nodded to Egon, approving his directions. One at a time, they climbed up the ladder to the dark attic.

Ray clicked on a flashlight. He found a hope chest that was shaking vividly.

"Jackpot!" Ray said in a stage whisper. Right away, he puts on his Ecto-Goggles, which helps him see paranormal activity. Ray tiptoed up to the hope chest and then... he opens it.

A demon-like ghost flew out of the chest and multiplied itself around the scary attic.

"Dante demons!" said Ray. "Timmy, family, stand back! Busters, let's get busy!"

"Are you guys part of a cult?" asked Venkman.

"Say what??" asked Timothy.

"Don't ask," said Martin. "Trust him."

Right away the GBs get right to work. They split up and spin the devil ghosts dizzy. Then, ZAP!!, the Dante demons were in the proton streams and swooped into the Ghost Trap.

"You guys make it look easy," said Timothy.

"We had years of practice," said Ray. "Speaking of, mom, dad, your son Timothy wants to be a Ghostbuster, and I told him he can train with us. Is that okay with you?"

"Oh, I don't know," said mom. "Sounds dangerous."

"C'mon, mom!" said Timothy. "It's my dream to be a Ghostbuster! Please???"

"Well... Oh, alright. But, we're going to have to set some rules."

"Aww," Timothy groaned.

"Timothy, you're 7 years old. You need some boundaries, period."

"She's right, Tim," said Ray. "You're going to need a curfew and stuff."

Timothy huffed. "Fine. Just as long as I get to be a Ghostbuster."

"It's gonna take a lotta practice," said Venkman. "Lots of training."

"So, we can get some No-Doze for me to take while training," Timothy said with a shrug.

"Woah!!" said Egon. "No-Doze is not safe. Especially for little ones like you."

"Anyway," said Ray. "I like that motivation you have, Timothy. You seem like Ghostbuster material. Especially for a kid."

"I think we got our first Junior Ghostbuster on our hands," said Venkman.

And that was the start of Timothy's career as a Junior Ghostbuster.

Next chapter will be up shortly. Any suggestions so far?

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PostPosted: June 5th, 2020, 1:38 pm 
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Here we go, next chapter. I'm always open for suggestions.

After school the next day, Timothy arrived at the Ghostbusters' Firehouse HQ, only to be greeted by the company's mascot, Slimer.

"Woah!" reacted Timothy. "Who are you?"

"Some call me Onionhead, but you may call me Slimer. How are ya?"

"Good. I'm here for my first day of training."

"You must be the new Junior Ghostbuster Egon told me about."

"That's me."

"Oh, good. Just in time," Egon said, coming down the stairs with a junior sized Proton Pack. "I just completed your Proton Pack."

"Nice," said Timothy. "Let me try it on. Uh, please."

"Okay," said Egon, helping Timothy put the pack on. "Now remember: these are not toys."

"Why would a powerful tool like this be a toy? Kids would get hurt," said Timothy.

"Precisely," said Egon.

"Hey, what are these guns called?"

"Particle Throwers. They shoot streams to capture ghosts."

"If you shot Superman with the Particle Throwers, would he feel it or something?"

"On Earth - no. But on Krypton, we could slice him up like Oscar Mayer bologna."

"Wow! Okay, you've just blew my mind."

"I do that to lots of people..." Egon said, looking at Janine, the receptionist and his crush. Janine looked up at Egon and waved to him. Egon waved back.

Then, the Ecto-1 pulled up to the garage. Ray stepped out of the car. "Sorry I'm late," he said. "I paid Lilith another visit."

"Who's Lilith?" asked Timothy.

"She's a ghost at Fort Detmerring. … And she's my girlfriend. I know, it's not normal to be in love with a lady ghost."

"Actually, that's kinda cool," said Timothy. "I'd like to meet Lilith sometime."

"Maybe someday, I'll introduce you to her," said Ray. "Okay, let's begin training. First, we learn to get to know your Proton Pack."

Timothy took out a notebook and pencil out of his pocket to take notes. "I'm all ears, Dr. Stantz."

"Okay," said Ray. "Now, the Proton Pack is very useful for Ghostbusting. Your Particle Thrower helps weaken and capture ghosts. Oh yeah, always vent your pack. Don't want it to overheat."

"Vent pack to avoid overheating," Timothy said, writing it down. "Got it! What else?"

"When you're shooting proton streams with a team, always remember to NEVER CROSS THE STREAMS."

"Let me guess," said Timothy. "It could cause catastrophic events, right?"

"Bingo!" said Ray. "You're catching on good, kid."

"Never cross the streams..." Timothy wrote down. "Okay. I gotta remember that."

"Let's practice capturing a ghost," said Egon. "Slimer, we need you."

"Woah, no!" said Slimer. "I'm not going in that tight-spaced Ghost Trap again! It's too small!"

"Relax," said Ray. "We'll let you out afterwards. And, we'll give you a snack if you cooperate."

Slimer was now convinced. "Alright, I'll do it."

"You can have my Milky-Way," said Timothy.

"Yummy! I love candy bars."

"Crunch bars are my favorite," said Egon.

"Hey! Mine too," said Timothy.

"Okay, enough chit-chat," said Ray. "Switch on your Particle Thrower."

Timothy switched on his Ghostbusting gun. "Particle Thrower on."

"Alright, now follow Slimer and try to catch him."

Right away, Slimer flew around the Firehouse. Timothy chased him. "Come back!!"

Timothy fired his Particle Thrower, but missed Slimer and accidently caused damage to the objects in the room.

"Sorry!" he shouted.

"Don't worry!" said Egon. "Happens every time!"

"I'll get you, green slimy ghost! Come here!!"

After a few minutes, Timothy finally caught Slimer and trapped him.

"Whew! That was challenging," said Timothy.

"Told you it takes practice," said Ray. "But if you want a real challenge, try taking on Gozer."

"How did you know the Gozer thing was what made me want to join you guys?"

"Venkman told us. The Gozer mission, I guess, is insipiring to us all."

"Was it really you who made the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Giant come to the city?"

Ray blushed. "Yes, that was me. I loved that marshmallow man. We used to roast Stay Puft marshmallows back in Camp Wakanda in 1966. Those were good s'mores..."

"So," said Timothy. "What now?"

"How about I show you the lab?" said Egon.

"Sure, why not?" said Timothy, following Egon upstairs.

Then, Venkman and his newly-married wife, Dana Barrett, enter the Firehouse.

"Hi, Venkman. Hey, Dana," greeted Ray.

"Hi guys," said Dana.

"How was lunch?" asked Janine.

"Delicious," said Venkman. "So, where's our new Junior GB?"

"Egon's showing him the lab," said Ray. "Oh, by the way, Lilith says 'Hi'."

"You really love that ghost lady, huh?" said Venkman.

Ray sighed dreamily. "Yeah."

"No offense, Ray," said Venkman. "But should you consider getting a living girlfriend?"

Ray sighed sadly. "I know I should. But I'm too infatuated by Lilith. I can't break her heart."

"Oooh," said Dana. "Looks like we got a problem."

"I know it's weird being in love with a ghost," said Ray. "Honestly, I don't know what to do."

"We'll talk about this later," said Venkman. "Right now, let's go see our trainee."

Ray shrugged and headed upstairs to see Timothy.

That's all for now. Poor Ray. He really should think about his relationship with Lilith.

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PostPosted: June 6th, 2020, 8:44 pm 
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If you ask me, this is better than my other fanfic, Ghost Business. It's going somewhere and makes a tad more sense. What do you guys think? Oh, which character do you want to see in this story? PM me and I'll think about it.

Oh yeah, what should we do about Ray and Lilith? Let me know.

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PostPosted: June 10th, 2020, 12:15 am 
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catnoir1998 wrote:
"If you shot Superman with the Particle Throwers, would he feel it or something?"

"On Earth - no. But on Krypton, we could slice him up like Oscar Mayer bologna."

"Wow! Okay, you've just blew my mind."


Bonus points for using the Superman line; it's about time this became part of the story!


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PostPosted: June 10th, 2020, 12:42 am 
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Crazy1van wrote:
Bonus points for using the Superman line; it's about time this became part of the story!


I assume you knew this was a line from an early draft from GB1?

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PostPosted: June 16th, 2020, 11:56 pm 
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catnoir1998 wrote:
Crazy1van wrote:
Bonus points for using the Superman line; it's about time this became part of the story!


I assume you knew this was a line from an early draft from GB1?


Indeed, and as a big fan of crossovers, I've always wished it had been said in the final draft.


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PostPosted: June 24th, 2020, 10:54 am 
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Crazy1van wrote:
Indeed, and as a big fan of crossovers, I've always wished it had been said in the final draft.


There are lots of stuff from the earlier drafts we wish were in the final product. Like Fort Detmerring, the Honeymoon Couple scene, the scene where Louis encounters those muggers, and Janine giving Egon the World's Fair coin. As for the Superman line, points to Harold Ramis for coming up with that.
More to come.

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PostPosted: June 27th, 2020, 2:58 pm 
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Next chapter is here. Suggestions are always open.

"That's a lot of stuff you made here, Dr. Egon," said Timothy, upstairs at the lab.

"Yeah," said Egon. "I don't mean to gloat, but I am a genius."

"FYI," Venkman said, coming up with Dana. "I'm the one with the PhD."

"So what?" asked Winston, using the computer.

"So I should be the genius here," said Venkman.

"Whatever," said Ray, playing a video game on the Nintendo Entertainment System. "Hey, Timothy, you like video games?"

"Yeah," said Timothy. "Do you got Donkey Kong?"

"Sure do," said Ray.

Venkman laughs. "Ray, you're how old? 30? And you're playing video games?"

"I won't be 30 until October," said Ray. "But I still have a childish charm. It's my personality."

Venkman laughs. "You're like Peter Pan, Ray."

"Ha, ha, very funny," Ray said.

"Timothy," said Janine, coming up the steps. "Your mom called. She wants you to come home."

"Alright," said Timothy. "See ya, GBs."

Timothy slid down the pole and headed on home.

"Oh yeah," said Janine to the GBs. "We got a phone call from a familiar foe."

"You don't mean...?" said Venkman.

"Yep. Walter Peck."

"Oh no!" the GBs said.

"What the heck does brainless want?" asked Ray.

"Probably revenge," said Janine.

"Oh, God..." said Egon. "We're not letting him shut down our system again."

"Don't worry," said Slimer, flying in. "I'll fix him."

"Sliming him won't do any good, Slimer," said Ray.

Slimer shrugged.

"Well, brainless won't beat us," said Venkman. "We beat him once, we can beat him again."

And what does Walter Peck want? Find out next time. BTW, notice I made them call Peck an appropriate insult word than the movie.

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PostPosted: July 7th, 2020, 5:04 pm 
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So, how does everyone like ARTBY so far? Are there any suggestions so far? If so, let me know.

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